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Things to do and not do to help your kids through your divorce

Although many people in Colorado and beyond might say it has its rewards, it's unlikely you'd find great numbers who also think parenting is easy. As a parent, you undoubtedly have your ups and downs, days when you're particularly thankful for your family and others when you wish you could go back to bed and start all over. In fact, you may even have days you'd rather forget altogether! It's par for the course that most parents encounter challenges along their journeys.

Some life events seem to prompt more challenge than others. You may have noticed this when you sat your kids down to tell them you were getting divorced. You may have also noticed their initial reactions varied; perhaps one child immediately grew sullen and quiet where another became quite vocal and tried to talk you out of it. You made up your mind then and there that you would do whatever you could to help them through the process that loomed ahead.

Practical tips that might help

You know your children better than anyone and are best equipped to make decisions in their best interests. With regard to divorce, other parents in Colorado and throughout the nation who have trod the path before you have later said the following ideas are good to keep in mind when helping kids through divorce:

  • It's common for married couples to argue more frequently in the weeks and months that lead up to a divorce. Your children have probably overheard one or more arguments between you and their other parent. However, during and following divorce, it's typically better for kids if they don't have to listen to their parents fighting all the time, especially concerning matters that involve them.
  • Children who are confident of their parents' support tend to do well in life. Even though you know in your own heart that you are ready and willing to do whatever it takes to help your kids come to terms with your divorce, you up their chances of success if you verbally remind them of this.
  • It's also a good idea to tell your children outright that your divorce is not their fault. You may think that should be obvious but you may also be surprised how many kids blame themselves in such circumstances.
  • Children of divorce generally fare best when their parents try to maintain a sense of normalcy and routine in their daily lives. Some of your routines will likely have to change; however, new routines will be just as helpful. The point is that structure and a sense of consistency provides feelings of comfort and safety that are beneficial to most children whose parents are going through divorce.

Serious problems can arise if your former spouse is not on board with your plan to help your children through your divorce. If you are trying to keep to a certain routine in your household and the other parent is not adhering to the signed parenting agreement, it can make life (and parenting) very difficult.

The court has the ultimate say when it comes to decisions regarding custody, child support and all other child-related and parenting issues in divorce. An experienced family law attorney knows how to take swift action to bring a particular problem to the court's attention to protect a parent's rights and children's best interests.

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