Colorado fans of TV and movies may find themselves following more than the plot line of their favorite series. In fact, it is easy to become invested in the personal lives of celebrities, especially when it comes to their loves and families. Often, choices made by celebrities become the new trends in the mainstream, such as choosing unusual names for children or allowing children to choose their own gender identity.
A recent trend in co-parenting has families watching with interest, especially those parents considering divorce. You may have heard actors such as Josh Lucas discussing a living arrangement they call “bird nesting.” While the concept may sound appealing, it has its disadvantages.
Nesting benefits
Bird nesting turns the idea of child custody and visitation upside down. Instead of the parents moving to separate homes and the children shuffling from one parent to the other, the children remain in the family home, and the parents alternate living there. If you and your spouse foresee an amicable end to your marriage, nesting may be an option for your family.
The financial benefits of nesting include allowing your home to increase in value or, if you rent, avoiding penalties for breaking your lease. Beyond finances, however, you may find that nesting allows your family to transition to separate lives more gently. This is especially helpful to children who may be confused about the divorce. The children have the stability of staying in their own neighborhoods, keeping their familiar bedrooms and maintaining a sense of permanency.
The drawbacks to nesting
If, during your marriage, you and your spouse had issues with sharing household chores and family responsibilities, you should not expect this to change while you are nesting. It is not unusual for one spouse to come home for his or her turn in the house only to find a mess. Other drawbacks to consider include these:
- Your schedules may not always allow for a smooth overlap.
- You and your spouse will each need a separate place to live when it is not your turn in the nest.
- You may find that the proximity to your ex-spouse prevents you from moving forward emotionally.
- Nesting arrangements can be confusing for children who may interpret it as hope for your reconciliation.
- You and your spouse may find the arrangement awkward if you begin dating new people.
Nesting is not usually a permanent solution, and you and your spouse will want to consider creating a timetable for transitioning from the nest. This is only one factor that you will have to resolve before stepping into this delicate way of divorcing. Your attorney can advise you how to protect your rights and best interests.