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Issues you might face as you cope with divorce

When you got married in a Colorado courthouse or church, the months that followed were likely some of the most joyful and exciting times of your life. Everything in your relationship felt new, and you were enjoying building a life with your spouse. There may have also been stress as you adapted to a married lifestyle, just as you might now be experiencing stress as you prepare to divorce.

Whether your marriage never saw its fifth anniversary, or as many as 10 years or more have passed since you tied the knot, getting divorced is seldom stress-free. While you can likely still recall some of the problems you encountered when you were "just married," there are numerous issues that may arise when you're "just divorced" that can be quite challenging, as well, which is why it's critical to know where to seek support when you need it.

Who gets what?

When you first married, you had to adjust to sharing personal belongings, perhaps even money, with your spouse. After deciding to divorce, you need to divide the assets you acquired during marriage. This often becomes problematic when spouses disagree about who owns what or who should keep the dog, etc.

Colorado is an equitable property state, which means the court will split the things you and your spouse jointly own in a fair but not necessarily equal way. If there are assets you are adamantly hoping to keep, it may be possible for you and your spouse to negotiate your own property division agreement, then seek the court's approval.

Divorce can be exhausting

There will be a lot of paperwork to sign, decisions to make and, perhaps, problem issues to resolve when you get divorced. Just thinking about the logistics is enough to make most people cringe. To avoid exhaustion and high levels of stress, you can tap into local resources to help you navigate the system in as swift and smooth a fashion as possible.

Such resources might include childcare help, so you have someone to stay with your kids while you attend mediation sessions or go to court for proceedings. You might also wish to speak with a financial adviser to avoid financial distress, as well as someone who is well-versed in family law, so you know what to expect and how to overcome any obstacles that arise.

Confrontation adds to the stress

It is understandable that you and your spouse may have difficulty relating to one another on an amicable level at this time. After all, you wouldn't be getting divorced if everything was fine between you. If every time you're in the same room or speaking to one another on the phone, you argue, it might be best to stick to written correspondence only.

It's true that you must resolve issues regarding property division and child custody or other legal matters such as alimony. You do not, however, have to subject yourself to personal confrontation every time there's a problem to resolve. In fact, you can ask a lawyer to speak and act on your behalf.

Divorce stress can definitely affect your children

The less involved your kids are in the details of your divorce, the better able to cope they might be. Children are not mature enough to handle adult problems. If your spouse is somehow trying to impede your relationship with your kids, that is a legal problem you can bring to the court's immediate attention.

You can't resolve all divorce-related issues overnight. It often takes weeks, months, and perhaps even more than a year to devise a fair and agreeable plan that protects both parents' rights and the best interests of all involved.

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