How moving to a new city or state can put strain on a marriage

On Behalf of | Apr 20, 2020 | Divorce |

Over the last decade, Colorado has seen a massive increase in transplant residents. People have moved to the Centennial State from all over the country for a variety of reasons. Relocating to Colorado could feel like the start of a new life, especially if you moved here for a career opportunity or at the start of your retirement.

Unfortunately, moving can be one of the most stressful experiences you have in your life, and it can put major strain on your marriage, potentially increasing your risk of divorce. Understanding how a move affects people can help you avoid the most common pitfalls or assist you in embracing the reality that divorce could be the best choice for your family in certain circumstances.

Moving is never the fresh start that people think it will be

When a person has gone through a difficult time recently, they may struggle to place blame or find a reason for the difficulty they’ve experienced. It is easy to blame your emotional issues or lack of career success on living in a community with very little artistic culture or career opportunities for your skillset.

In some cases, you might blame where you live for your spouse giving in to vices that have damaged your marriage. Whether you live somewhere close to gambling facilities that they too frequently utilized or you were too close to their high school sweetheart who wouldn’t stop sending inappropriate messages on Facebook, moving somewhere new might seem like a way to take the pressure off your marriage.

Unfortunately, people prone to certain behaviors won’t change just because they find themselves in a new living situation. Instead, they will find new opportunities to explore their vices, which can leave you in a frustrating position, all while without the social support network you had where you previously lived. 

The stress of moving can highlight the faults in your relationship

Do you have trouble trusting your spouse to complete basic tasks? Do they tend to place the blame on you whenever anything goes wrong, even if you weren’t directly involved? Going through a move, especially one to a new state or a city far away, can put a lot of stress on the individuals involved.

Between the physical work of packing and moving, and the emotional baggage that inevitably surfaces while saying goodbye and planning for a new home, you and your partner could very well soon be at each other’s throats.

Discussions with loved ones, a few therapy sessions or careful journaling can help you determine whether those terrible moving behaviors were just a result of temporary stress or indicative of an overall pattern in your relationship. Perhaps the best thing you can do with your fresh start is to make a clean break and pursue a divorce so that you can start living your best life.