Sharing parenting time is often easiest when there are clear expectations and boundaries. Parents have to work cooperatively and communicate effectively. Otherwise, there may be constant disputes and disruptions to the arrangements for sharing parental rights and responsibilities.
Some of those disruptions can be more upsetting than others. Dealing with a co-parent who does not consistently show up for their time with their children is a major source of frustration. The absenteeism of one parent can leave the other desperately looking for childcare or forced to cancel their personal plans. Worse, the children may suffer emotionally. They may feel rejected by the no-show parent and disappointed about the sudden change in plans.
How can a parent address a scenario where they share parenting time with someone who isn’t consistently showing up for the children?
Parents can modify their custody orders
Some people ask for as much parenting time as possible in good faith. However, they may feel overwhelmed when they are alone with their children. Others have ulterior motives for pursuing the maximum amount of parenting time possible. They may want to look like a good parent to others or may want to limit how much child support they have to pay.
Regardless of the motive, the impact of failing to show up is the same. The no-show parent causes scheduling disruptions for the other parent and emotional turmoil for the children. Frustrated parents need to keep records of each canceled parenting session.
Occasionally, the parent who doesn’t show up might even agree to voluntarily modify the arrangements. If they recognize that their schedule or personal capabilities prevent them from adequately parenting the children, they may agree to an uncontested modification in which the other parent assumes more overnight parenting time. Without their cooperation, pursuing a contested modification after a judge’s review may be the only option available.
Once there is adequate documentation of repeat cancellations and shortened visits, it may be possible to take the matter back to family court. Typically, parents requesting post-decree modifications have to wait two years from the last time a judge reviewed their case to ask for a hearing. However, the state makes exceptions for scenarios that endanger the well-being of children.
If the actions of one parent cause emotional distress for the children, that can motivate a judge to review and adjust the family’s parenting time arrangements. Documentation of how frequently one parent fails to make use of their parenting time and the impact their actions have on their children could convince a judge to review and modify the current allocation of parenting time.
A loving and supportive parent should not have to constantly make sacrifices and scheduling adjustments for a no-show co-parent. Understanding the rules that apply to orders allocating parental rights and responsibilities may help people address challenging family law situations.