Many women worked hard to make sure that those who came after them enjoyed the same opportunities as men. Women entered the work force in numbers and continued to strive for equality in the workplace. Many of them succeeded, and now, young women around the country, including those here in Colorado, have opportunities that their grandmothers, and perhaps even their mothers, didn’t have decades ago.
Enjoying successful and lucrative careers also puts many women in the position of paying child support to their husbands after a divorce. This may come as a shock to many women, and they may face some uncomfortable adjustments.
Focus on your children
The whole point behind child support lies in financially supporting your children. You have the means to give them a certain quality of life. They have opportunities they may not otherwise enjoy because of your financial support. You may also help to ensure that they have a clean, safe and comfortable place to spend time with their father.
You should not resent co-parenting or the fact that your former husband fills the primary caregiver role, which society used to consider “the woman’s job.” Instead, you can focus on your career and remain a loving parent knowing that your former spouse has the means to take care of the children.
Focus on your budget
Paying child support undoubtedly affects your budget. You may not have the financial resources to keep the lifestyle you enjoyed during the marriage. More than likely, you will need to adjust your budget in order to make ends meet. The fact is that despite child support payments, your ex-spouse may also struggle financially. Anytime the same financial resources need to support two households when they used to comfortably support one, adjustments become necessary.
Focus on letting go
Anger and resentment won’t fix the problem. In fact, it could only serve to exacerbate an already tenuous situation. You and your former spouse need to maintain some sort of relationship for the good of your children. The fact that the court ordered you to make child support payments does not change that fact.
You probably have no shortage of friends and family who will indulge your negative emotions about the situation, but they don’t have to live it.
Focus on finding the support you need
If you experience a change in circumstances that make the payments a burden on your budget, you may request that the court adjust the amount. If the court agrees that a substantial change in your circumstances warrant it, you may receive a modified order with lower payments. If you need help with this process, it’s available.