You never thought you’d get divorced, but things have changed. You’ve been worried over the last year that your spouse may be thinking about ending things. They haven’t said it yet, but you get the sense all the same.
At the same time, you know that it’s best to respond to these types of things as soon as you can. If it’s coming and there’s nothing you can do about that, you’d like to start preparing now. But how can you know that you really are heading for a divorce — without bringing it up to your spouse and putting the whole thing in motion yourself?
Look for these signs
The key is to know what signs and red flags to look for. If you see the following, it could mean that divorce is closer than you think:
- You expected different things out of the marriage. As a result, your spouse always seems unhappy with how the relationship is going. You’re not sure how to fix it, since he or she just had unrealistic expectations to begin with.
- You used to argue all the time, but your spouse has stopped engaging in these arguments. You may think this is good, but it could be the opposite. Your spouse just doesn’t care about arguing anymore because they’re going to leave.
- Your spouse isn’t kind to you in public. Even couples that are having problems usually put on a good face in front of family, friends and co-workers. If your spouse is unkind or belittles you in public, you know you’ve passed an important point.
- If you ever bring up issues that are impacting the marriage, your spouse just refuses to talk about them. This means things are never going to change, which means the relationship is eventually going to end.
- The little kindnesses are gone. Some couples have said that a spouse stopped saying “thank you,” for instance. These little changes may be invisible to outsiders, but you know that something is wrong.
Are you seeing any of these signs in your marriage? Remember, preparation is important, and you want to know as much as you can about the divorce process.